yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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