In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
