going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
