you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Can you bring me the toilet please
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
