I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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