I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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