walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
