Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
