It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
