The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
