we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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