just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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