But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
