Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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