She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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