We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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