So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
