cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
