Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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