u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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