Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
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