i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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