Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
