win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
