so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
