I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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