I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
