At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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