you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
