who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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