I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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