HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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