I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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