What a fucking waste of an outfit
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
