It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
