right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
