i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
