We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
