We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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