Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
