He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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