No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
