I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
