i already hear my dad disowning me
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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