I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
