Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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