i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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