Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
be right there i have to get my cape
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
