"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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