You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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